Zim the Rebel
by Teh Blaze Chan
Summary: What happens when the leader of a rebel army comes to get Zim and tell him he's a defective that no one likes? Well... You have to read to find out 'cause I'm not telling.
1. It Begins

**Author's note:** Whoot. Guess what, y'all? I'm back with another story... thatIhopeIfinish. It's kinda easy to tell what ish about with the title name. XD; Anywho, the first chapter is a bit story. However, it's the only short chapter. It's three pages, while other chapters are like, seven-to-ten pages. xD And this chapter is kinda slow action wise, but bear with me. I mean, the story's gotta start somewhere, right?  
Oh and also... You may notice a change in writing style some where in the middle-endish of chapter two. That's because, up until then, it was just me writing. From that point on, however, my friend and I are writing it. So... Yeah.

**Disclaimer:** Although I REALLY wish I did, I do not own the original IZ characters. Those guys belong to Jhonen Vasquez... Lucky.  
**Claimer:** HOWEVER... Taiko/I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T./Original story idea IS mine. So ha. -Takes themand run off-

**Okay. Now enjoy until you explode!**

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.:Zim the Rebel:.

Chapter One

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"I've spent so much time searching for the one called Zim. I've combed the Milky Way looking for a sign of him…. Thankfully, a whisper here, and a rumor there has finally lead me to him… And once I get to Earth, I shall make him into the finest member of I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T. Aside from myself, of course…."

"Erm… Miss Taiko… Who are you talking to?" A male voice asked suddenly.

The female Irken who had been speaking blinked, "…Erm… No one… I was just talking… It makes it seem more dramatic, ya know?"

"…Okay then… Well, we shall be near the planet dubbed 'Pluto' very soon." The male alien, a technician on the ship, said, staring at the Irken.

"Very good." The female responded, before turning back to the window she had been looking out.

"Soon, Zim… I shall have you as a member of my organization… For I am Taiko! The leader of I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T! And I shall restore the planets that the filthy Irken Empire has destroyed!" She smirked.

It wasn't too much later after that that the ship landed on Pluto, as the male alien said it would. Taiko walked quickly down to the docking bay to get into her personal ship.

"Unfortunately, The Colossus is too big to not be noticed on Earth…" She muttered to herself, as she walked.

She sighed, and looked around the dark tunnel that lead to the docking bay, sapphire eyes darting around. "Man, I hate it down here." She murmured, running out of the tunnel and onto the docking bay.

There, in the center of the docking bay, was an Irken-like ship. However, the symbol on the side, which was normally an Irken symbol, had been crossed out. A soldier of an unknown alien race stood by it, slouching.

That was, until he noticed Taiko approaching. He jumped up, and saluted. "Your ship is ready, Miss Taiko!"

"Very good." Taiko responded, looking the ship over. "Now return to your post."

"Yes madam!" He said, walking out of the docking bay.

Taiko turned and smirked to herself, "I'm coming, Invader Zim." She muttered, fixing the bandana upon her head, before turning on the ship and leaving the docking bay.

It took about eight hours to get to Earth with Taiko's ship going as quickly as possible. She laid back in the ship, feet up on the dashboard.

From first glance, it was easy to tell that Taiko was not a normal Irken. Her clothing, first off, was no where near what a normal Irken wore. A brightly colored shirt with a crossed out Irken symbol upon it, purple and dark blue pants, shoes that were very similar to sneakers, and a bandana, also bearing the crossed out Irken logo, upon her head. It was not only her clothing that made her different, for upon her left arm she wore a life-support system, and she lacked a PAK.

After a few moments, the emergency warning came on. Taiko sat up and looked at the computer. "Hmmm…" She blinked, pushing a few buttons.

The ship was getting closer to the atmosphere and there wasn't a lot of time to figure out what the problem was. After pushing a few seconds of pushing more buttons, she cursed.  
"Damn… Looks like I won't be able to slow down the ship after I enter the atmosphere." She muttered to no one. "I need to find a way to get out of the ship before it hit's the ground… I could land in the… lots of blue whatever-that-is down there, but something's telling me that's not a smart idea." She sighed, "WhatamIgoingtodo! …AH. I know! I'll… jump out right before it hits the ground! …And… probably break all my bones, but whatever."

The ship began to get closer and closer to the ground, having passed through the atmosphere.

With a worried look, Taiko braced herself to jump out of the craft. The ground below was getting closer, and any minute now she would have to jump.

As the ship whizzed passed the top of a building, Taiko closed her eyes and counted softly to herself. "3.…2.…1... JUMP!"

Thankfully, she had been over the park and landed in a tree. With a sigh of relief, Taiko jumped out of the tree and looked around. "Okay… That… was probably not good…" She muttered, turning and looking at the fiery debris that had been her ship not too long ago. "…Now I need a new ship… I liked that one, though…" She pouted.

After a moment, she sighed, "Yes… Well… Time to find Zim!"

Luck seemed to be a good friend of Taiko's that night. One reason was that it was night time, and so there were not very many humans out; most had gone to bed by now. The others didn't arrive that the crash site, thankfully for Taiko, until about ten minutes after her departure.

She snuck quietly through the streets, looking for some sign of an Irken house. If the rumors she had heard about Zim were true, it wouldn't be too hard to spot his home among the normal human houses. And, of course, she easily spotted the home.

"…Wow…" Was the only thing that the Irken managed to say, shaking her head and running to the door.

With a slightly shaking hand, she knocked upon the door and waited.

Down in the lab, Zim worked away at his next attempt to destroy all human life. "MIHAHAHAHAhahaha!"

He laughed, holding up a stick-like object. "I have done itttt"

"YAY IT!" GIR yelled next to him, looking up from the very interesting, to say the least, drawing he had been doing.

Zim looked at him irritably. "I thought I told you to go away. Stop bothering Zim!" He demanded.

"Awww… But… I was drawing a monkey and a piggy! They're friends" GIR smiled at cute, but stupid, smile he always does.

"GIR, why won't you ever listen to your master! OBEY ME!" Zim yelled, "OBEEEE-" He paused as the computer began to speak.

"…Um…. You know there's someone at the door, right?"

Zim blinked, "Someone at my door? GIR… Go answer it. Zim is too busy to bother with any filthy humans right now."

"Okie Dokie" Gir half-sang, skipping to the elevator.

Once the elevator reached the top, GIR emerged from the toilet misplaced in the kitchen and walked over to the door. Grinning from ear to ear, he opened it up and looked at Taiko. The Irken female looked down at him and blinked, "…What are you?" She asked suddenly.

"I'm GIR. It's nice ta meet 'cha!" GIR chirped, still smiling.

"Oh? So you're GIR… Zim's SIR unit… Then Zim must be here too, correct?" Taiko asked.

Gir nodded happily, "Yepyep. He's meh master! He's workin' in the lab 'ight now. I can go get him if ya waaaannnnnnnttttt…"

"Erm…. If you would, please." Taiko said, blinking, making a mental note that this SIR unit was totally insane.

GIR smiled, letting Taiko into the house. "You wait here. Watch this… It's got tacos on it. I loooove tacos."

After a moment of awkward silence, GIR skipped off to fetch Zim. Leaving Taiko in the living room, looking around curiously.

A few seconds later, GIR was in the lap. He skipped happily over to Zim and poked him.

"Master There someone here tooooo seeeee ya!" He sang.

Zim blinked. "Who is it? Zim is busy! BUSY!"

"It's a girl! A girly Irken." He said, giggling for some reason that Zim just couldn't understand.

"An Irken? …Here? Why?"

"I dunno… But she wants ta talk ta yooou!" Gir sang, giggling once more.

Zim muttered irritably under his breath. "I'd better go see what she wants… I guess." He muttered softly, going to the elevator.

After climbing out the toilet, Zim made his way into the living room, slightly surprised to see the Irken there; he had thought that GIR had been making it up, and had come up to make him shut up.

The female Irken blinked, looking over and seeing Zim. "Ah! You're here."

"What do you want from Zim?" He demanded, half-glaring at Taiko. "I am very busy with conquering the human worm-babies."

"Oh. Right. How rude of me." Taiko jumped up and bowed to Zim, " My name is Taiko and I need to talk to you, Great Invader Zim…"

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**Author's notes again: **Yay. Taiko finally met Zim. And everyone gonna be happy and they'll blow everyone up and...  
No. I'm just kidding. xD; You'll hafta wait to see what happens... But there's Chinese food in the next chapter! And Dib. Isn't that uber?  
So yah **Plz review, or GIR will eat your brain x3**

**And, although you didn't help with this chapter XD, I want to thank you, Asterik (Since it won't let me put the other way I like to write your name in here,), for helping me write this story. I never coulda/woulda done it with out you. Luff you! **

_Teh Blaze Chan_


	2. I'd Hate To Tell You, But

-1**Author's note: **Thanks for the reviews, you guys. I was gonna wait 'til tomorrow to put this up, but… Why wait then I can do it now, right? Oh and forgive typos in the author's notes and story… I only slept 11 hours total in the past five days… so I'm tired and can't type anymore. XD  
So…Yeah. This is the chapter that my friend began to help me write, so… whoot. XD And she is on even though I didn't know. Her pen name is Asterik, so go lookit her stuff. XD   
**Disclaimer: **I don't own the original characters… And that makes me sad. Jhonen Vasquez owns them.  
**Claimer:** But I do own Taiko and crap like that. Which is awesome, no?

Anywho, here's chapter two  
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After a moment or two, Zim smirked, "Yeah. I am great, aren't I? So… what is it that you wanted to tell the amazing Zim?"

Taiko looked around, kind of nervously. "Erm… I was just wondering.. Um… Well, first… erm…. Can the Tallest listen to our conversation in anyway?" She asked softly. 

Zim scoffed slightly, "Of course! This is an Irken base after all, is it not? It is the most AWESOME Irken base!"

"Erm… In that case, maybe we should go out… This is supposed to be a… surprise for the Tallest… And we don't want them to find out, right?" Taiko muttered softly, looking at Zim. "Could we maybe go get some… food or something? I haven't eaten in a while."

"…Well… in that case… sure, why not?" Zim shrugged.

"Okay let's go!" Taiko screeched happily, opening the front door to step out, before she was stopped by Zim.

"HEY! Are you stupid or something! Going outside… WITHOUT COVER!"

"…What?"

"You need a disguise! The filthy stink-humans will recognize you otherwise, and you'll blow Zim's mission! Have you not the brains!" Zim yelled, obviously upset.

"Oh… Um… Right, sorry. Do you have a disguise for me, then?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Of course I do! Zim is always prepared!"

He pointed over to the toilet. "STEP INSIIIIDE!"

Taiko blinked, giving a shrug before she did as told.

A moment later, Zim and Taiko walked out of Zim's home, both wearing similar, crappy disguises; the main difference was Taiko's disguise was more feminine than Zim's, who was wearing his normal skool-boy disguise.

The two walked through the darkness (though it as only about 9:30) into a Chinese restaurant that Zim had never been to, and ordered various food items… most of them ordered by Taiko, though. When the food arrived, Taiko shooed the waiter away, and began to tell Zim what she needed to tell him, while cramming as much food into her mouth as possible.

"So… oday, Zimb… Whad I neeb to teww you is dat…" She paused and swallowed. "Well… Let me tell you about myself first, hmm? Let's see… I was a new-born smeet when…."

However, outside, Dib was walking by the restaurant, with an ice-cream in hand. He glanced into the restaurant's window and nearly choked, and dropped the ice-cream, when he saw Zim and Taiko.

"Another Irken! This is perfect! If I could catch them other out of their really bad disguises, then I could take pictures and send them to Mysterious Mysteries!" He said, running into the restaurant.

He ducked between many people, tables and slid quietly into the booth next to them, unnoticed for the most part. With a smirk, he sat and listened to the conversation.

"…And so… my friend and I named the planet I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T. after our organization…" Taiko went on. "Now we have a small rebellion going, and I think that with you, the rebellion could become great."

"ZIM REBEL!" Zim yelled, shocking Taiko slightly, "Why would I go against my Tallest, when they love Zim so?"

"…I'd hate to be the one to tell you this, Zim… and I know you might not believe me… but… The Tallest hate you." Taiko said slowly, before taking another bite of a questionable-looking egg roll.

"IMPOSSIBLE! The Tallest gave me a secret mission! They praise me above all Invaders! They even gave me a special SIR unit! How could they not love Zim!"

"…Zim… All that stuff… has a reason behind it… Your secret mission was just an attempt to get rid of you… There wasn't suppose to be a planet out here for you to conquer. And your 'special' SIR unit is a piece of junk that they put random items into the head, hoping that it'd work… And it did. That's why GIR is so… messed up."

"Impossible!" Zim repeated loudly.

Taiko sat up, and slammed her hands on the table, causing Dib to jump in his seat in surprise.

"ZIM! LISTEN TO ME! You are a defective Irken! There is something wrong with you! The Tallest dislike you because you fail repeatedly and think you've done well! You fail to acknowledge that you've done wrong, and continue to do wrongly! You're a joke to them, Zim!"

"A-a… joke?" Zim muttered softly, not wanting to believe it. "…But… That's… why would… How could…?" He was at a loss for words.

"Zim… If you still don't believe, I have proof, but I can't show it here, obviously…" She sighed, "You'd make a great rebel, Zim…. And I was really hoping you'd help us out… And you could get revenge on the Tallest for turning you into the biggest laughing-stock on Irk. Please, Zim…" She begged.

"I'm… a… defective Irken?" Zim asked suddenly, looking at her. "H-how can that be!"

Taiko shrugged, "Well… some Irkens get fitted with damaged I.D. PAKs, right? Well, the Tallest feel that these people, called "Defectives", must be deactivated, erased, never to be remembered." She muttered.

"And you're one of them… do you not remember the trail you were placed on, on Planet Judgementia? When you were declared defective and the Control Brains went to wipe your memory and remove your PAK?"

"Planet Judgementia?" He repeated, "Oh! You mean my surprise party? Yeah… That was sure nice of the Tallest, huh?"

Taiko sighed, looking at him. "No, Zim. That was NOT a party! It was a trial! A TRAIL. You were charged as being defective, and once you were proven defective, the control brains tried to kill you. Do you remember now?"

Zim paled slightly, "I thought that was… some kind of joke…"

"No, Zim. It was as far from being a joke as possible…"

Dib blinked as he listened. "Zim…. Is defective? That must be why he's so bad at his job…" He muttered. Part of him couldn't help but feel sorry for Zim, and part of him was beaming with I-knew-it-ness.

Zim sat, mulling that thought over in his mind. There HAD to be a way that this was a mistake! His Tallest loved him! They threw a party to see the Zim! He fidgeted, playing with the amount of greasy, Earth-noodle-food-thing before him (Otherwise known as lo mein).

"You must be mistaken. You dare question Zim's superiority? YOU DARE?" 

Strange, the way he had gone from emotion to emotion, and was now standing once more, claw-like hands clenching as if to try and get the answer out of the air in them.

Taiko sighed, "Your persistence is rather.. Irritating." She stood on her seat, and put her foot onto the table in an area vacant of food to make herself level with him.

"Listen to me, you dipstick! YOU HAVE NO SUPERIORITY! A Gasquiggasplorch has more 'superiority' than you, Zim! Stop being so… stupid! Listen to me, Zim! I speak the truth! Why would I bother to come all this way if I was just going to lie to you, hmm? It's not worth my time. Now, will you help me or not!" She yelled and stomped her foot; not caring that all the people in the restaurant were staring at her.

Zim grew quiet once more, though standing just as she had. Logic had worked its way into his rather hard head; she had a point.

"If I have no authority, then why do you want me on your side? Why not just let me be? LET ZIM BE!" He flailed his arms, accidentally hitting the guy in the booth behind him, knocking the redhead's glasses off. 

Zim looked behind him for a second, then turned back to Taiko. "Why?"

Taiko sighed, getting off the table and sitting back down.

"Because, Zim... You'd make a good rebel... Believe it or not, I think the Tallest are... afraid of you. Why else would they have given you a 'mission' so far away...? Because they wanted to make sure you were as far away as possible... Why did they do that, instead of sending you back to Foodcourtia? Because, Zim. I'm very sure they're afraid... there's something special about you... but I'm not quite sure what that is, yet..."

She looked at him. It was hard not to feel sorry for him. The Tallest had tricked him, humiliated him and even tried to kill him. In a way, she just wanted to help the poor guy, and help herself as well. With Zim's help, she could take over Irk, and restore the planets that had been taken over.

"My... Tallest... Afraid...? Of the Zim?" he asked, posture slumping. 

Dib winced with what he was sure was running through the Irkens mind now.

"But why... would they be afraid of me? If I am... 'Defective'... then what could Zim do to them?"

"Well, as I do recall, Zim… You DID kill two Tallest… How ever unintentionally that may have been." Taiko said matter-of-factly, grabbing a bowl of wonton soup and eating some of it.

"De Tawwest may see you af a tfhreat." she muttered through a full mouth.

"He killed two Tallest?" Dib choked, staring.

"I SAID they're FINE." Zim insisted stubbornly, then switched topics. "How can you eat that disgusting human filth?"

"'S reawwy good..." She said through another full mouth. However, she wouldn't be saying that for very long, for as she was about to take another bite, she began to cough.

"Oh, ow! IT BURNS MY INSIDES." She choked out. "OOOOOWWWWW..."

Dib clenched his fist, "No! Talk about what happened to the Tallest, don't change the subject." He hissed softly, curiosity flowing through him.

The redhead from before blinked, now that he could see again, and offered the directions for the bathroom. "There's a bathroom over there if you need to throw up. It happens a lot at this place."

"No, no, I'm fine..." Taiko stammered softly. "Just... Ow. My Squeedly Spooch burns badly!"

Zim then blinked. "WAIT! WE'RE SURROUNDED BY HUMANS!" he screamed, bringing attention to himself, if there had been none before. "I AM NORMAL!"

"Or ARE you?" Dib asked himself quietly, "'Cause you keep getting more mysterious..."

"Umm... What's your problem?" Taiko asked, blinking. "If you yell like that, people are going to think you're weird. And who CARES if they know you're an alien? If you're coming with me, it wouldn't matter 'cause you won't be coming back."

She then turned to the people staring at them and yelled, "WHAT! YOU GOT A PROBLEM? STOP LOOKING." And so, most of them listened and returned to their meals.

Zim blinked, staring. "But... the mission-..." A pause as he fell again. "What mission? There is no mission. No mission for Zim."

"Zim... I'm sorry..." Taiko said softly, looking down. "I shouldn't have told you... I should have just left you alone..." She always hated to see anyone really upset. "Sorry..."

Zim then smirked slightly, his mind scheming up a plot and loophole. "But... you're taller than me, riiiight?"

"Wait, what does that have to do with anything?"

"STAND UP!"

"Erm... O-okay." She said, doing so.

"Hey!" Zim demanded, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Taiko. "Hey, you! Who's taller?"

"Um... She is. A bit." muttered a random guy.

"THERE! Victory for Zim!" he smiled, turning to Taiko. "Feel special, my Tallest."

"...Wait, wait.. What?" Taiko blinked. "So what if I'm a bit taller than you? What does that have to do with anything at all?"

"What is he up to...?" Dib wondered to himself as he listened.

Zim merely bowed, smiling. "Well, you ARE the tallest Irken within a couple billion miles. Are you not? Huh?"

Dib blinked, wondering even more than ever where he was going with this.

"Well... That's true, but I still don't get what this has to do with ANYTHING." She said, confused.

"I, Invader Zim, pledge myself to you, Tallest Taiko." Zim said cheerfully, bowing once more and then saluting.

"Ummm..." Taiko was at a loss for words. "Well, um... Zim... maybe we should do this somewhere else, hmm?" She muttered, looking at all the people who were staring at them again. "The humans are getting really... stare...y."

"As you said, does it matter...? But... That's RIGHT! To the BAAAAASE!" he nearly sang, strutting out of the restaurant, but not before leaving the rest of his monies.

Dib blinked, scrambling out of the way and into the bushes. "What the...?"

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**More author's notes. They are fun and note…y: **Yay. Stuff. XD And yeah… And I don't know why Zim doesn't ask Taiko why she knows so much about him. XD;; But, you'll find out in some other chapter. Will be updated sometime later. Probably next week or Sunday. So… Yeah.  
Luff.  
_Teh Blaze Chan_


	3. Crash Landing

**Author's note: **Whoot. Onto chapter three! This one's got some action in it! So… onto the story!  
**Disclaimer:** …Again? Okay, okay. I don't the original IZ charries. Happy now?  
**Claimer: **I do own some crap. Like Taiko and stuff related to her… like I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T.

**READ, ENJOY… and REVIEW! **

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Taiko blinked, following Zim, as the two walked to his base.

"Um... Zim? You're kinda freaking me out... Just a bit." She said softly to him. "You're chipper... And that's scary."

"Well, my Tallest..." he said, pausing outside, "As the humans would say, I think I'm in... 'Denial'."

"Yeah, you are." Dib muttered, staring.

She blinked, then gasped slightly, "Oh no! This is my fault!"

She walked over and hugged Zim, "I'm sorry, Zim. I should've left you alone... Sorry, sorry, sorry."

"The Zim needs no thanks!" he said, blinking at the all-too-human sign of affection or caring. But dare he push a Tallest away? No - he couldn't!

After a moment, Taiko broke the hug and looked at Zim. She cleared her throat and blinked, "Erm…. Sorry. On my way to your house earlier, I saw two upset humans embrace in such a way… It seemed to cheer them up, so I guess I was trying to cheer myself up…" She explained.

Zim merely nodded, though still confused. "It is alright, my Tallest."

"He is off his rocker." Dib muttered quietly, still staring at the two Irkens.

"Oh... Um, I have a question... Since we're not caring if the humans know we're aliens, can we take off the disguises...? The lenses hurt my eyes slightly..." Taiko said suddenly.

Dib squeaked quietly to himself, readying the camera he carried on all his Zim-hunting missions.

"... If you wish..." a pause, "But the Dib-human! He might be around..."

She shrugged slightly, "And so? I doubt a human with a name such as 'Dib' can be a threat. If he comes around, I shall destroy him!" She said with a smirk.

"Very well, my Tallest." Zim obliged, taking off his wig.

Taiko smiled once more, slipping out of her disguise, which was a bit more than just a wig and lenses on her eyes. She was also wearing clothes over her clothes, so she hadn't been walking around with the I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T. symbol out in the open; that didn't seem like a good idea to her.

"Hey... what's that?" Zim asked, pointing, then realized, his antennae drooping. Irken symbol, crossed out. A sick feeling washed over him, but that seemed to be a bit normal by now - after all, during the 'party' he had almost been killed...

"It's the symbol for I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T." She said, with a hint of pride in her voice. "I am the leader, after all... so I hafta wear the symbol."

"Oh." Zim muttered quietly, his smile faltering for a split second before returning full-force. "So, to the base? So we can get outta here?"

"Yes, yes... Let's go." She muttered as people began to stare at them.

A little boy near them blinked and asked his mother, "Mommy? Why are those kids wearing alien costumes?"

His mother blinked, "Because they're weird."

Zim nodded, turning, only to find Dib blocking his way. He growled, bristling, but waiting for orders from his new commander.

Taiko blinked, "What the...? Move, human! Get out of our way." She yelled at Dib.

"Zim's leaving?" he asked in shock, "Earth is safe? We won't be invaded?"

"This is the Dib-human." Zim informed Taiko, still growling.

"Oh.. so this is Dib..." She muttered softly, "Well, Dib, in answer to your question, yes. Zim is coming with me, and your pitiful dirtball is safe. Now stand aside before I destroy you."

"But..." Dib blinked, sad yet relieved at once. "I guess... this is goodbye..."

Zim blinked. "Yeah. It is. So... GOODBYE! Move it, Dib." However, the Irken had a regret as well; Dib was fun to torture...

"Well... It doesn't have to be goodbye..." Taiko said with a small smirk. "We're always looking for new members for I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T. to help us fight the Irkens... Would you like to join us, Dib?"

Dib stared, not believing what was currently being offered. Zim did the same, now thinking his Tallest was crazy.

"DO I EVER!" Dib laughed, instantly lightening up. Nobody here liked him, anyway, and Gaz might even be happy that he was gone - Dib would be able to go into the stars! On a real alien battle mission!

"Yes, yes. Very good, then. Now you must be silent, though. Your voice is very irritating…. Zim, let's go to the base now, so we can get off this filthy, dirtball planet. Come on..." With a small smile, she turned and began to walk to Zim's house.

Zim stared, first in shock, then fury at the human now tagging along cheerfully behind him. The Irken walked in silence, as did the human, who was barely restrained in jumping for joy.

"Zim... Come here for a moment... I have something rather important to tell you." Taiko muttered.

"Yes, my Tallest?" Zim asked, increasing his pace to catch up with Taiko.

"You do realize that I have plans for the human, right?" She said softly, so Dib couldn't hear. "I won't let him be there for any important battles... however, he might be useful to us. So I need you to get along with him until we reach Irk, okay?"

Zim nodded quietly. "But... we've been enemies for so long, that you must understand... it will be... difficult, to say the least..."

"Yes, yes. I understand that... but if you two get in a fight, I will throw you both into the dungeons on my ship until you can behave, got it?"

"But-" Zim started, then stopped and merely nodded submissively, sending a glare back to the human as his pace fell out of time with Taiko's and he fell back.

It was when they were almost to Zim's house, that Taiko's watch began to beep rather loudly. She cursed and opened it, "What do you want! I'm busy right now." She hissed into it.

A scared voice came from the watch, "W-we're having some trouble, Miss Taiko! O-on planet Blorch, we ran into some Irken Invaders and... they're totally slaughtering us! Miss T-Taiko.. we need h-help!"

Taiko cursed again, "Retreat for now, soldier. We'll return to Blorch some other time... What is the number of casualties?"

"About... fifteen, I think."

Taiko winced slightly, "...Yes. Then retreating would be best. Regroup and go back to I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T. to heal. I should be there within a few months..."

She closed the watch and sighed, "we're never going to defeat the Irkens… why do I even bother…?"

Dib took the chance to talk. "You do it because the planets what have been conquered need your help! Free people everywhere are dying - and if you save one planet, the others will start to fall. Like... dominoes, y'know?"

"There were only a certain number of Invaders, getting rid of one or two WOULD hurt the Tallest." Zim agreed, having to voice that, even if it did mean he backed up his enemy.

"Yes... but you must understand. Fifteen casualties... That would be about half the members of I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T.!" She sighed, "It's my fault... we weren't ready to take Blorch yet... I was too eager to get that one."

"Don't give up hope - once the people from Blorch see what's happening, they might join, as well!" Dib said, "Your numbers will boost, as well as the Irken's falling."

"Well... maybe you're right, but there's got to be an easier and quicker way to take the Irkens down..." She said thoughtfully, before an evil smile crossed her face. "..I GOT IT."

"What?" both chorused, exchanging glares, then looking to their leader.

"The Tallest..." She answered simply, the smile still upon her face. "Answer me this... What do you think would happen if the Tallest were suddenly killed?"

Zim shuddered, looking at the ground, but Dib assessed the facts. "Well... it's known that, as with most battles, if the leaders are taken down, then it's sudden chaos. The Irkens would lose stability in the mission until a new Tallest was elected... and it would weaken them enough..." here he smiled, "To take them down."

"Correct. So, we're going strait to the Massive to destroy the Tallest and the Irken Elite. Once their main army and leaders are gone, the rest of the Irkens will become easy targets..." Taiko smirked and laughed, "They won't know what hit them!"

Zim, still having doubts, muttered, "But, my Tallest, if we can't even take Blorch... how can you think about taking down the Massive?"

"Erm... uh..." Taiko blinked, "I... don't know..." She admitted. "But... We'll figure it out! I mean, it takes six months to reach the Massive, unless it's close to Earth, so we have plenty of time to think about it."

Zim nodded, opening his door. The Robo-parents greeted him cheerfully, as did Gir, but this time it was with another Irken and Dib in tow.

Taiko stepped into the house and looked around. It was her second time in the house but the first time she never really got a real chance to look around.

"Hmm... Nice decorations, Zim." She muttered.

"Aren't they?" Zim asked, smiling, as Dib fought the urge to snap millions of pictures, now that he was allowed free reign.

Taiko was about to say something, when the huge TV began to fuzz. "Erm... What's going on?" She asked, looking at the TV.

Zim gasped, then pushed Taiko and Dib behind the couch. "You'll thank me later!" he hissed, quickly standing back up to address his once-superiors.

"Invader Zim!" Tallest Red said once the picture on the TV cleared. "Ah... good. You're there. It's time for a... check-up of the Invaders." He said.

"Yeah!" Purple agreed, "This is the time where we get to beat yo-... I mean, check and see if you're doing what you're suppose to be... um... doing."

"And if you're not, we get to punish you! Doesn't that sound like fun?" Red smirked.

Taiko gasped slightly, "It's the Tallest? Darnit... Please, Zim... don't give us away..." She said under her breath.

Zim smiled, putting on a false cheerfulness. "Oh, yes! Absolutely fun, my Tallest! What... erm... do you need to check...?"

"If only they knew..." Dib muttered quietly, shifting so that he wasn't sitting on the Irken's foot.

"Um... We want to see... You arrange snacks from the planet in an order, so that the name of the snacks tell us a story about how you plan to take over the planet!" Purple said, smiling.

"He likes snacks." Red stated.

Taiko sighed, "I hope they hurry this up... because you are WAY too close to me." She muttered to Dib.

Zim paused, then smiled. "If I may direct you into the kitchen area..." he said, and the television shuddered, then followed him into there. He threw open the cabinets, then started making things up as he went. "See, the Twinkies of the planet are a part of the Cheetoes conspiracy, so those Fritos over there are trying to stop them. We're the Fritos, my Tallest. So, when the Fritos finally overthrow the Cheetoes and Twinkies, ZIM SHALL RULE!"

Taiko blinked, watching from behind the couch, holding back a huge urge to laugh.

The Tallest looked at each other and blinked, "Erm… Okay, then… Well, um… Very good, I guess." Red muttered.

"But the final part of your check-up is to send us some of those snacks!" Purple said. "Then you pass… I guess."

Dib had to clamp his hands over his mouth to keep from laughing, shaking with the effort.

"Will do, sirs!" Zim said cheerfully, his smile a twitchy one as he saluted. "You'll get them the next time I stop by. Have you tried the Twinkies? So delicious..."

"Yes, well... um.. That is all." Red said.

Before he could cut off the transmission, though, GIR ran into the room. "WAIT, WAIT, TALL GUYS."

"What is it?" Purple asked, annoyed.

"Master's got some new friiiiiiieeeeeeennnnnnddddds..." GIR sang happily. "They're playin' hide-in-seek!"

"...What?" The Tallest said together.

Zim blinked. "Oh, yes. Heh heh. GIR is a bit delusional. He thinks I have some new friends. Hah! He's been that way ever since the great party you threw over on Judgementia. Oh, wait... You're breaking up! I can't hear you! Goodbye, my Tallest!" the transmission was cut and Zim glared around at GIR. "You little..."

GIR looked at Zim sadly. "Aww... I was going to ask them if they wanted to play too... Oh, well... I'MMA MAKE SOME SOUP." He yelled and ran out of the room.

Taiko pulled herself out from behind the couch. "Ow... I never want to go behind that couch again." She muttered.

Dib followed her, laughing. "You're Fritos, eh?"

Zim sighed. "It was the only thing I could think of, Pig-smelly, and be glad that you weren't found out."

"Well, I think it was a good cover..." Taiko muttered, "Good job, Zim. If the Tallest had found out we were here..." She shuddered, "That'd been bad."

"GIR will be the downfall of Zim." he muttered, then gave a small twitch, which he didn't seem to notice.

Dib did, however. Zim had been acting weirder ever since he was gone that day, and weirder was saying something.

Taiko sighed, "Well... We'd better start getting ready to leave." She turned to Dib, "Um... D'you have any weaponry at your base that we can use? I know Zim does, but we need moooore."

Dib thought for a moment. "It's probably not the best, but I have some things that might help. But everything I have to help might be able to fit into a small box, so it's not much help."

Taiko shrugged, "It's better than nothing... Go get it." She said. "But don't tell anyone about what you're doing."

Dib nodded, running out to get what little weaponry he had, along with his information gathering stuff. Zim couldn't have EVERYTHING he did, but he'd have to take it in moderation. The Voot didn't look too roomy.

"Alright... Well..." Taiko turned to Zim. "You're going to have to pack your base up..." She said, "So we can have it with us. Thankfully, I have the Colossus with us..." She said. "That's I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T.'s largest ship."

Zim nodded, then blinked. "You don't really have Irken-standard technology, do you...?" he asked quietly.

"No, of course not. I don't even carry Irken technology on myself, let alone on my ships." She said.

"You don't have a PAK." he finally realized, staring in a mixture of admiration and horror.

"Nope... I ripped it off a long time ago." She said with a small smile, "I nearly died when I did so, though... However..." She pulled up the sleeve on her left arm, "This life-support device keeps me alive, so I don't need a PAK anymore."

Zim blinked, looking to his PAK. After a small silence, he turned back. Then a pause, as he seemed to lost track of everything at the moment - pausing and staring lifelessly for the span of a second. He then snapped back to reality, looking like nothing of the sort had happened. "That's pretty cool..."

Taiko blinked, "Um... Zim... A-are you okay? 'Cause you're acting... off."

"What'd you mean, my Tallest?" Zim asked. It seemed that, to his memory, the tiny pause in activities hadn't happened.

"...Well, you just froze up there for a moment, then acted as if it hadn't happened..." She looked at him.

Zim blinked, apparently confused by this. "Zim has no memory of THAT happening..."

"Yes, but I do!" She said, "And it happened!"

Zim blinked, then shrugged. "Well... whatever... I guess..."

Taiko sighed, "..Yeah... whatever... So... where is the human? He's taking a long time."

It was then that Dib came in once more. "Sorry it took so long, I forgot I had some of Tak's old stuff." Zim shuddered at the name, but Dib ignored it, displaying some extra laser-like guns other than the ones he had.

"Good, good." Taiko said, smiling. "And... I've been thinking of a plan..."

"Plan?" the two chorused, exchanging yet another set of glances.

"Zim... Well... Both of you, actually, have taken over the Massive once..." Taiko said, before she was  
interrupted by Zim.

"Why do you know so much about me?" He asked suddenly,

Taiko smirked, "I have a lot of free time."

"Wait, you want us to do that again?" Dib asked, blinking.

"Yes! Then they'll out of control again and it will be fun to watch!" She said happily.

Zim and Dib exchanged glances. "You still have the equipment?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Let's do it."

"Hooray!" Taiko yelled, then clear her throat. "I mean... very good." She smiled.

Zim, twitching, led them to the toilet in his kitchen that led down to the labs. "My Tallest, if you would go first...?"

"Erm... Sure..." Taiko shrugged, and hopped into the toilet.

Zim flushed it, watching her go down the drain, waiting a few, then sending Dib down headfirst. "Whoo, thought he was gonna get stuck!" Zim laughed to himself, commenting on the size of Dib's head.

Once she was in the base, Taiko looked around. "Hmmm... Interesting base..."

Zim shrugged once he came down, narrowly missing landing on Dib's head - which made an excellent target. He tapped a command into the computer system and a door opened off to the side, revealing come odd-looking controls and a multi-jointed joystick looking thing. Zim scrambled up, his PAK lifting him to it with it's mechanical legs. "Dib, if the Tallest try to regain control, I need you to stop them. Do you have a basic understanding of Irkish?"

"Yeah, kinda..."

"Well, if they try and do anything, stop them. I think there's an option to turn it into a human language..." A pause as one of Zim's mechanical legs poked at she screen, the Irken himself leaning over the side.

Suddenly, it was in English, and Dib familiarized himself with the controls. The mechanical leg retracted.

"And I need you to try and mask the signal. I'll try to pretend my loyalties lie with them for as long as I can. The Zim is genius, is he not?" He paused to gloat. "So don't let them know it's us."

Taiko looked at Zim, "Is there anything you need me to do?" She asked.

"Not unless you want to communicate with the Tallest." Zim shrugged, "Or want a job doing... something."

"I can talk to the Tallest. I can seem to be an... Irken... somewhere that's not here... and fool them." She said, smiling.

Zim nodded, switching the view screen over to the control panel on his left. Dib's was on his right. He poked a few buttons, as did the human, and the team quickly hacked through the main computer systems. The view screen came up on Taiko's control panel, the other Irken and human out of sight.

On the screen, the Tallest blinked, "Who are you?" They asked.

Taiko smiled, bowing slightly. "My Tallest... I am from... the... snack... place." She said, blinking.

Purple looked at her, "...You mean Foodcourtia?"

"Yes... There... And... I'm waiting for your snack order..." She said, finding it a bit hard to think on her feet like this.

"Oh... yes..." Red said, before going into a long list of snack items and Taiko pretended to listen..

Zim watched her quietly, turning the ship slightly off-course. One of the operators blinked. "I'm sorry to interrupt, my Tallest, but we've veered off-course for no reason."

Taiko waved her arms, "Oh, oh! My Tallest! I... made a dance for you!" She yelled, before dancing.

The two Tallest looked away from the operator and at Taiko, and they began to clap.

Zim continued with his work, most of it done by the joystick thing. The Operator just sighed, watching the ship being steered off in some direction he didn't want it to go in.

"Dance, dance, dance Watch me dance" Taiko half-sang, dancing.

The Tallest smiled, ignoring the fact that the ship was randomly flying someway they didn't tell it to go.

The operator sighed once more, trying to get to the root of the problem. However, the computer just spewed nonsense up at him, saying things like 'If your butt is itchy when you fall asleep, in the morning you'll have a smelly finger.'

Zim stared at Dib, who seemed to be having fun making up weird comments and sending them to aliens millions of miles away.

"Dance, dance, dance... I'm getting kinda tired..." She sang over to Zim, "Hurry up And crrraaasssshhh iiiiittttt..."

"Crash what?" Red asked.

"...Your... booty! Your great booty! Crashing it is another way to say shake it" She half-sang some more.

"Crash?" Zim muttered quietly, then groaned, gunning the throttle and sending the Massive straight towards a planet. He paused again, staring through one eye at what he had become. He had already killed two Tallest, was he going to do the same to two others. "Here's your Twinkies, my Tallest." he whispered, right before they hit.

The Tallest yelled, and Taiko smiled before the transmission cut off. "Good bye, my Tallest. I hope you enjoy death." She muttered as the transmission cut.

-----------------

However, the Tallest did not die. Instead they were knocked out shortly after the crash. However, several operators died, as did many Irkens onboard... Other than that, everyone else survived, but was knocked out.  
Zim groaned, spacing out as he did before for another second, then lifting himself out of the chair with his PAK's legs. He stood shakily, feeling sick to his squeedily spooch and staggered out. Dib blinked after him, wondering.

After a moment, Taiko smiled and began to laugh almost maniacally. "YES, YES. I WIN. I WIIIIIIN! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Dib smiled quietly, then looked to his longtime enemy. Was Zim really that attached to the ones who had tried to kill him? The human then turned back to Taiko, wanting to share in her joy instead of Zim's pain, as he was absent from the room.

She continued to laugh for another moment, before she cut off and coughed. "Ow... My throat."

"You okay?" Dib asked, coming over to his commander, his station deactivated.

"Yes, yes... Just... no more laughing for me. I can't laugh like that for too long." She said.

"Zim's been able to do that for about a minute before he starts choking like you did. Come to think of it, where is he, anyway?" Trying to alert the Anti-Irken of his departure.

"In here, my Tallest..." Zim called weakly from the next room, hunched by a trash can, emptying whatever passed as an Irken's stomach into it. His voice was scratchy and wavered - not a good sign.

She blinked. "Zim? Are you okay...?" She asked, the smile instantly fading from her face.

"I will be, my Tallest..." Zim muttered quietly, staring into the bucket - there was nothing better.

"I-Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" She asked softly.

"Not really." Zim muttered, turning his gaze towards his leader and then away from, standing shakily.

"Zim, I..."

"Save it, Pig-monkey. Don't waste your breath..." Zim snapped, then losing his potency, sighed. Another pause like the one before - that Taiko had noticed but Zim himself hadn't - happened again, before Zim was back to whatever 'normal' for the situation was. "Zim is a murderer..."

"Zim... I was the one who told you... to do that... Zim... Don't... feel bad..." Taiko said softly. "Please..."

The Irken sighed, staring at her steadily. The other two times it had been an accident... but now... "Still, I was the one who crashed the Massive. Zim is responsible."

"Zim... Stop... Stop thinking like that!" She commanded. "Now! Before I have to hug you again!"

"If that's an order." he complied quietly, though still feeling that heavy weight.

Taiko sighed, "Zim..." She shook her head. "...I need to lay down. I'm getting a headache." She muttered, walking to the couch and laying down.

The Irken stared after, as Dib followed. Zim stayed behind, still feeling more than a bit sick. He could imagine the horror, the chaos that would be the Irken Empire until the two new Tallest were found. He had just killed the two he had been loyal to since elected; betrayed his people, whom he had been a part (If a dysfunctional part) of since he was birthed.

Taiko sighed softly as she looked at the ceiling. "I think my age is finally catching up to me..." She muttered softly.

"What do you mean, age? Don't Irkens age a lot slower than humans?" Dib asked, "If so, you should have a longer lifespan..."

"Yes, yes... Just mean that I feel as old as I am right now..." She muttered. "Even though I still have a full life ahead of me... Technically, I'm not that old."

Dib nodded consolingly, sighing as the small clicking noises of Zim's mechanical legs could be heard coming up from the downstairs pipes. He emerged from the toilet, muttering to himself.

With another sigh, Taiko closed her eyes. "I think... we... should... do... something..." She said, talking REALLY slowly. She almost seemed like she was falling asleep, but Irkens don't sleep, so that couldn't have been why she was talking so slowly.

"My tallest, by any chance did your life support get damaged while you were dancing?" Zim asked, a hint of bitterness in his tone, but other than that carefully devoid of emotion.

"Nope. Can't... break like... that." She glanced at it. "It's powering down, though... hmmm... Erm... entering... sleep mode... anyways."

"Should you charge it or something?" Dib asked, blinking. Irkens didn't sleep, to his knowledge, so this was getting weird...

"Nope." She said. "Can't... I... didn't bring... the... charger... thing..." She shrugged. "Guess that's... my fault, hmm?"

"My Tallest, you might be dying!" Zim snapped, now on edge. No, he wasn't going to let his newest leader die, as well.

"Oh... no... I'm not... I'm just... really tired... If I... rest, I'll... be... just... fine." She said slowly, smiling slightly. "Ten minutes... give me ten... minutes."

Both nodded, wondering about what to do with ten minutes of being around each disgusting other.

Taiko looked at her life-support system as it said in a cool voice, "Entering sleep mode... Shall reboot in ten minutes..." And with that, she fell asleep.

"Well, earth-slime," Zim whispered, "What to do in ten minutes with your disgusting... filth...?"

"Well, Zim... You can explain something to me..." Dib said, looking at Taiko, then to Zim. "Why is it that Irken females don't look too much different from Irken males?"

Zim blinked, staring for a minute. "We're birthed from the Control Brains. Irkens don't mate in that disgusting way humans and other species do." He shuddered, "And since we don't, there is no reason for there to be any true physical differences. A female's antennae curl a bit more than the male's though."

"Well... If that's the case... Then Irkens don't fall in love, either, then?" He asked.

Zim shook his head in a solid no. "That would be WEIRD."

"Oh... Okay, then... Just wanted to know." Dib said, looking at him, shrugging.

Zim stared once more, wondering exactly why, but said nothing else.

"Yeah... So... How much time has passed?" He asked, looking for a clock.

"Approximately five minutes." Zim sighed. "Any other questions you must ask?"

He blinked, thinking of one. "Um... What... type of food do Irkens eat?"

Zim stared yet again, then reached into his PAK, pulling out one of the bars he ate instead of the earth food in the cafeteria. Hey, it was enough to hold him over. "Try."

"Um..." Dib looked at it, "...How do I know you're not trying to poison me, or something?" He asked suspiciously.

Zim muttered, opening the package and breaking off half, taking a bite. "Theaw." he muttered through a mouthful.

He looked at Zim, then shrugged and took a bite of the other half. "Hmm... 's not bad..."

"Might hurt your stomach a bit, though." Zim shrugged when he swallowed, "Human food does that to our organs..."

Dib shrugged slightly. "Erm... Right. Well, I think your stomach is a bit more... sensitive than mine, but we'll see."

"Except for the snacks." Zim said, rather randomly after a few more seconds and another bite. "The snacks are good... Snacks..." He fell quiet at that, sighing and taking another bite.

"So... How much time now?" He asked, before biting another piece off.

"'Bout another minute 'till ten." he informed, sighing.

"How..." He paused, then looked at Zim, before continuing. "How do we know she's really gonna wake up...?"

Zim paused, the same rather downcast expression he had while dealing with the fact that he had killed the Tallest across his face. "I... don't know..."

"Erm... I'm sure she will, though." Dib said, "Nothing to worry about, right?"

Zim nodded, though his mood still seemed to be darkened. His internal clock told him that it was just about time and he watched Taiko closely.

With a small sigh, Taiko stirred a bit, but didn't awake. Her life-support system began to blink, the word "REBOOTING" flashing upon it.

Zim's antennae twitched, raising. It would be good for the human to start learning expressions with them, because it was a better indicator how an Irken was feeling. Actually, some variations of Irken speech were mainly a few words and antennae movements combined.

Taiko sighed once again, and opened her eyes slowly.

Dib heaved a sigh of relief and Zim gave a small smile, but neither of them said a word until they were sure.

Taiko looked at them, once her eyes were opened all the way, and smiled, "Ah... so... You two didn't kill each other. That's good."

Dib smiled slightly. "Zim wanted to, but..."

She laughed slightly, sitting up. "Yes, well... At least he didn't. Now... We need to..." She paused as her watch began to beep. "...Hmm?" With a blink, she opened it up. "Umm... What is it?"

"Madam!" A voice said, "The Massive has crashed!"

"Yes, I know..." Taiko muttered.

"Well... About three fourths of the army has been killed, not including the Tallest."

"Wait, wait, WHAT!"

"...The Tallest were not killed...?"

Taiko cursed. "NO WAY!" She stood up. "WHERE ARE THEY! I WANT YOU TO FIND THEM! But... don't kill them when you do. I have plans for them..." She smirked.

Zim twitched again, looking torn between overjoyed and depressed.

"Three fourths of the army, at least..." Dib offered.

"Yes, yes... That's good." Taiko muttered, "But the Tallest living, however, is a problem... One that I plan to fix."

Yet another mood swing, this time one of horror and the same happiness. I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T would win.  
The Irkens were already weakened immensely. Zim gave a small smile, pretending that everything was okay. Shut up and smile...

She looked back to the watch, "Oh, and... Where did the Massive crash?" She asked the soldier.

"Umm... Some... planet... out... somewhere."

"You don't know, do you?" She asked.

"...um...no."

Taiko sighed. "Great. Is it close to I.C.O.N.O.C.L.A.S.T.?"

"Kinda..."

"Well, at least we know that. That means we gotta leave soon." She looked at Zim and Dib, "Let's get going."

Both nodded, Zim sending the signal to his base. It folded, starting to collapse, but by the time it would have killed the three, it was pulled back into the small drill-like capsule it had started out as, and was slipped into Zim's pocket, leaving only his Voot, resting on the floor behind them. "Zim is ready."

Taiko smiled, "Very good. Let's go..."


End file.
